Expert advice on how to cope with Christmas and come out the other side feeling even better than before!
Psychologist, author expert & dialogue coach Sarah Rozenthuler shares some quick steps to help you get on top of things in a more positive way this Christmas... especially for those struggling a bit more this year.
Now We're Talking: How to discuss what really matters by Sarah Rozenthuler, Pearson, out now in all good bookshops and online
Sarah Rozenthuler - in both her latest book (Now We're Talking) and her consultancy work with companies such as Boots, Savills, NatWest, and Book Trust - offers advice for anyone who wants to overcome the obstacles that stop them from having a difficult conversation and use ‘authentic dialogue' tools, so they can move from avoidance or breakdown to breakthrough.
We're approaching a busy time of year for the author ofNow We're Talking. Sarah Rozenthuler is the ultimate expert in how to tackle difficult conversations and challenging situations - which can happen to the best of us at this time of year! To help you navigate your way through the longer winter nights of TV re-runs and bad weather, here are Sarah's six tips for coping with Christmas. There are many ways to put a little sparkle back into your life so that you survive - and thrive - during the festive season. Here are six tips from our author expert Sarah Rozenthuler:
1. Create your own ritual
Perhaps this year things are going to change - you may have experienced a relationship breakdown, lost a family member, changed your career. Big change throughout the year of any kind can feel like it comes back to bite you at Christmas when everyone is expected to ‘be happy' regardless of what has happened in the previous 12 months. Accepting a different Christmas doesn't necessarily mean a bad Christmas is one step towards finding more peace at this sometimes-stressful time. You can also try creating a new ritual or tradition. Something that brings you your own sense of peace and joy. This could involve lighting some scented candles in the afternoon, going for a walk by the sea or in the forest, or having a de-clutter and throwing things away items that you no longer want to keep. Ask yourself what's meaningful for you and go do it.
2. Review and reflect
Make the most of the longer evenings to take stock about the last year. What have you learnt? What surprised you? Before making any resolutions about the next year, dig into your experience of the past year.
See if there are any relationships with family or friends that could do with some attention. Christmas can be the perfect time to reach out, re-connect and re-establish a bond. Sending a Christmas card is an easy way to let someone know you're thinking about them and of seeing if there's still life in a relationship.
3. Get back to basics
Get in touch with what really matters. In this ongoing cost-of-living crisis, treasure what you do have. Play a board game, get out some old family photos, wrap up warm and go out for a walk, enjoy a hot chocolate or even just a festive mug filled with tea!
Find a way to have a real conversation with someone you care about even if that means doing it by Zoom or FaceTime. If you've struggled to talk at other times, ask them about how their hopes and fears for the year ahead and share what's on your mind.
4. Optimise the downtime
The two weeks over Christmas and New Year is the perfect time to allow yourself some time off from emails, social media, and WhatsApps. Enjoy the spaciousness and freedom that comes from switching off your laptop.
It's the one time of the year when there's a national holiday so make the most of it. Put some energy back into yourself by taking time to rest and enjoying a long soak in the tub.
5. Find other outlets
If you find yourself getting sad, frustrated or withdrawn, find ways to let off steam. As the poet Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
To help you keep your cool, find healthier ways of venting. Go for a brisk walk, do a workout, scream out loud or sing at the top of your voice to Mariah Carey while driving alone. Do what it takes to have a rant in a way that doesn't jeopardise your relationships.
6. Offer to help
Challenge yourself to make a contribution in some unexpected way.
It is the season of goodwill, after all. Getting out of self-absorption and into action is not only a sure-fire way to make you feel better, but it will also do wonders for your relationships.
About Sarah Rozenthuler
Sarah Rozenthuler C.Psych, BA, AFBPsS
Sarah Rozenthuler is a Chartered Psychologist, a leadership coach, a dialogue consultant, and a motivational speaker.
She is the author of Powered by Purpose: Energise people to do great work (2020), with a foreword by Paul Polman and How to have Meaningful Conversations: 7 strategies for talking about what matters (2012, 2019), with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch.
Sarah has over 15 years' experience as a consultant to global organisations such as Warner Bros Discovery, Boots, Savills, NatWest, BCG, Book Trust and Choice Support. She has worked with CEOs and their teams, facilitated sessions for networks of NGOs, and given talks at international summits. Sarah's areas of expertise include leadership development, relationship building, dialogue and Purpose.
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