Tackling difficult conversations (including in the ‘Jungle') at this emotive time of year!
Four proactive steps to a more positive end to 2024 from ‘Now We're Talking' author expert, psychologist & dialogue coach Sarah Rozenthuler - including top 'conflict resolution' tips for the increasingly ‘hangry' I'm A Celebrity Campmates!
Now We're Talking: How to discuss what really matters by Sarah Rozenthuler, Pearson, out now in all good bookshops and online
We're approaching a busy time of year for the author ofNow We're Talking. Sarah Rozenthuler is the ultimate expert in how to tackle difficult conversations - whether at work, at home, or even the jungle! We're over a week in to this year's popular TV showI'm A Celebrity, which sees celebrities thrown together to live in the Aussie jungle, food- and sleep-deprived (especially as Dean keeps getting voted to do the trials!), and under the spotlight of public scrutiny for three weeks. Then, it's holiday season - withChristmasbeing a time for work parties and the pressure of end-of-year deadlines. And, families and friends come together for multiple celebrations and traditional festivities, often for the first time since the previous year. Plus, of course,New Yearrepresents a time when many people start evaluating their life and work choices for the year ahead - from who they're in a romantic relationship with to whether they should ask for a payrise or switch careers. While the next couple of months can be a time for fun and games, it's also notorious for the occasionaltricky conversationbetween colleagues, friends and family. This is where Sarah Rozenthuler's advice really comes into its own!
Sarah Rozenthuler - in both her latest book (Now We're Talking) and her consultancy work with companies such as Discovery Inc, Boots, Savills, NatWest, BCG, Book Trust and Choice Support - offers advice for anyone who wants to overcome the obstacles that stop them from having a difficult conversation and use ‘authentic dialogue' tools, so they can move from avoidance or breakdown to breakthrough. Just imagine how much those tools could come in handy in the jungle or the office party!
Here, Sarah shares some top tips on how to ‘build a bridge' in the face of tension or mistrust, which can come in handy at this often-high-pressure time of year (and is definitely going to be useful for I'm A Celeb campmates who are going to start getting evicted on 1stDecember!):
Start with listening, not solutions.
Often, when tension or mistrust exists, people are accustomed to being told rather than heard. Starting with an active listening approach can go a long way toward disarming hostility or scepticism. You can build rapport by seeking to understand the other person's perspective fully - listening to both the words and the emotions and feelings beneath them. Even if you don't agree with every point, showing genuine curiosity and concern is powerful. (We're thinking Dean vs Alan here!).
Acknowledge the ‘elephant in the room.'
Building trust requires acknowledging the tension or mistrust instead of ignoring it. Saying something like, "I know things have been strained, and I want to work with you to change that," or "I know we're all hangry as we keep losing the trials but let's work together to try to win more stars," shows transparency and a willingness to address the issue head-on. This approach invites a more open conversation and signals a desire to work toward a healthier relationship.
Model Vulnerability and Openness.
Sharing a personal experience related to overcoming conflict or expressing understanding of the challenges at hand can humanise the person leading the conversation. For instance, saying, "I've also struggled with miscommunication in the past," can reduce defensiveness and pave the way for a more honest exchange.
Invite Regular Dialogue.
Sometimes, tension stems from a lack of communication built up over time (which in the I'm A Celebrity jungle may only be days but feels a lot longer ‘in there'). You can proactively "keep the bridge open" by inviting regular conversations with a point of focus/discussion topic. This ensures the door to honest communication remains open, providing a space to address issues before they snowball into deeper distrust.
About Sarah Rozenthuler
Sarah Rozenthuler C.Psych, BA, AFBPsS
Sarah Rozenthuler is a Chartered Psychologist, a leadership coach, a dialogue consultant, and a motivational speaker.
She is the author of Powered by Purpose: Energise people to do great work (2020), with a foreword by Paul Polman and How to have Meaningful Conversations: 7 strategies for talking about what matters (2012, 2019), with a foreword by Neale Donald Walsch.
Sarah has over 15 years' experience as a consultant to global organisations such as Warner Bros Discovery, Boots, Savills, NatWest, BCG, Book Trust and Choice Support. She has worked with CEOs and their teams, facilitated sessions for networks of NGOs, and given talks at international summits. Sarah's areas of expertise include leadership development, relationship building, dialogue and Purpose.
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