Good morning,
We have been working with counsellor, psychologist, author and relationships expert Michael Padraig Acton for almost a year now and his insights gathered over the past 30+ years of professional experience are always eye-opening! Having seen the term 'Incel' hitting the headlines so much recently we wanted to find out more about the meaning behind this word and why he thinks it's a term we all need to be more aware of. Please see Michael's fascinating insights below. If you'd like to speak with Michael further on this subject, please get in touch. We can arrange for media interviews and send copies of his new book on toxic relationships (Learning How To Leave) to you.
Thanks,
Helen Lewis
Director
Literally PR
www.literallypr.com
What exactly is an incel and why is it a term we should all be aware of?
Expert insights & advice...
Counsellor, psychologist, relationships expert and author Michael Padraig Acton shares his 30+ years' experience to explain a term we're seeing a lot in the headlines at the moment: INCEL
Michael Padraig Acton is currently in the UK (until 8thSeptember) and available for media interviews, comment and article commissions. His latest Power of You self-help guide, Learning How To Leave: A Practical Guide To Stepping Away From Toxic & Narcissistic Relationships, is out now in paperback and ebook, available internationally in all good bookshops and online.
Media enquiries tohelenlewis@literallypr.com. For a review copy (digital/paperback) please get in touch.
What is an incel?
The word ‘incel' stands for ‘involuntary celibate' and means somebody who believes they are denied sex because of their lowly position in an oppressive female hierarchy. The incel movement sorts men into three levels:
- Sexually desirable ‘chads' who are the object of female sexual attention.
- ‘Betas', who are below the chads but can form relationships with women.
- The ‘incels' who, because of their genetic makeup (examples could include short height, weak frame, thin wrists, etc.) are "doomed" to be rejected by all women. Incels portray women as sexually depraved and call for them to be stripped of their rights and made to serve men.
Why is the term incel likely to become more 'known' as we deal with a growing problem around men focusing their attentions online and struggling to form romantic attachments in the 'real world'?
The incel movement has grown alongside the development of online dating apps such as Tinder and this is no coincidence. Dating apps are like gambling machines where a positive response leads to a dopamine hit. But since men are generally visually driven and women more interpersonally driven (and it is much easier to doctor an image than to charm someone through text), there is an imbalance. Women end up with lots of interest (and dopamine) and plenty of men to choose from. Some men get fewer hits and start behaving like deprived addicts. They become like the starved rats pulling the lever to get food.
By treating online dating as real life, they begin to believe the ideology that they are ‘blackpilled' - doomed to never have sex or a relationship due to their genetics. This is a dangerous nihilistic attitude with the man increasingly at risk of carrying out violent attacks of revenge against women and society in general.
What factors are behind the growing number of people who could be termed as incels?
As the opportunities to meet people in the real world decrease (due to lockdown, work from home culture, etc.), people increasingly turn to technologies to find their match. These technologies are designed to be addictive and, as described above, men tend to perform poorly.
What can and should be done to help these people?
Education needs to be started from an early age with boys and girls taught about how to form healthy relationships and to stop using dating apps when they feel upset (like the gambling ‘When the Fun Stops' mantra!).
For those already harbouring extremist thoughts, working with an experienced, qualified therapist can help to strip away the layers and get to the core of what is going on with them, but it is not always easy to persuade them to get the help they need. If you believe you know someone who represents a real risk to life, it is important to seek urgent help through the emergency services.
What makes some incels turn to violence, such as in the Plymouth shooting, but not others?
Most people are not violent by nature and have other influences in their lives that balance out their online frustrations. Even those who do latch on to incel ideology will soon turn away because of the bizarre beliefs held by their members (such as the belief that women routinely have sex with dogs to satisfy their urges). However, as more of our lives become dominated by technology, there is a risk that the incel movement will create more of these desperate addicts.
About Michael Padraig Acton
Michael Padraig-Acton (B.Ed., M.Ed. (Psych.) Hons., M.A. C.Psych., P.D. C.Psych., BPSsS., BACP (Accred), MICF) is a consultant, psychological therapist, counsellor, clinical supervisor, legal consultant, systemic life coach, trained scientist practitioner and author with over 30 years of clinical experience. Working globally, with his main offices in London (UK) and Fort Lauderdale (US), originally from England and Ireland, Michael specialises in helping couples, families and individuals. He has extensive training in approaches including applied clinical and counselling psychology, CBT, psychoanalysis and psychodynamic, Jungian, Gestalt, systemic and transactional analysis, as well as holistic forms of therapeutic alliance such as mindfulness and shamanism. As mostly a single parent for his daughter's upbringing and having no parental support as a child, Michael left home and the Catholic church behind at the age of 17 having spent months struggling to survive meningitis. He has dedicated the last 30 years of his life to helping hundreds of people through his practices. The Power Of You series of accessible self-help is Michael's way of reaching and supporting many, many more people, families and couples. All his work is enveloped by Rogerian core values of empowerment and the importance of the therapeutic integrative relationship. Michael is a genuine, caring and thoughtful professional, dad and grandpa with scholastic and real human values.
Online media folder link for photos and more info: https://bit.ly/MPAMindPR
My personal fear is about what's going to happen in the next 29 years. As Harari asks so eloquently in21 Lessons for the 21stCentury, what are our ideals and how will AI influence them?