29 November 2016

For immediate release

Erica's Story

On Friday 18 November 2016 Erica (not her real name) read out her ‘gratitude letter' to more than 30 people at her ‘graduation day', marking her completion of the Recovery Day Programme (RDP) in Brent.

Erica's addiction was Alcohol. Now in her mid-30s, she has been struggling with alcohol since her early 20s. She's experienced lots of problems - physically, mentally, emotionally and socially. She has attended a number of recovery rehabs and treatment programmes in the past.

The Recovery Day Programme in Brent is different. It provides recovery treatment for people with addiction problems to help them towards a clean and sober lifestyle, free from addiction.

We do this through therapies to develop life-skills and positive behavioural changes.

We also offer support to further education and employment.

The RDP is 12-weeks, six days a week, with a mix of groups and individual counselling sessions. We run an aftercare telephone service and psychology staff will call ‘graduates' to review how they are putting their new skills into practice.

Mo Dualeh is the Group Psychotherapist.

He said, "I run psycho-educational and therapeutic groups; including: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Positive Psychology and Emotional Intelligence. I also facilitate Motivational Skills workshops."

He continues, "In the positive psychology component of the programme I ask each individual to write and read a ‘gratitude letter' to someone who made positive contribution to their lives and to my pleasant surprise she had addressed hers to me, which was very flattering but full of insight and also moving. A little later she met Andy Mattin, CNWL's Director of Nursing and Quality and told him she'd had a very positive experience. She compared her RDP to her recovery experience in the USA. She said she enjoyed and learned more here."

This is what she wrote.

Dear Mo,

I want to thank you for everything you've done, in a sense, this is my gratitude letter you're always insisting we do. I'm awkwardly reading it in front of a dozen people. Initially, I wasn't sure there would be a programme for me and the idea of ‘improving myself' seemed tiring and inane. I am an expert at cynicism and so when Courteney (one of our Assistant Psychologists-ed.) offered me the chance to start the program, I knew that if I did not join as soon as possible I might never. It's cliché to say the program has changed my life. It really hasn't. I still live in the same house, have the same job and family, look the same, etc. What has changed is not my life, but me. I am a fundamentally happier, more positive, content, patient, and understanding person.

Before the RDP, I had been telling myself a story that went something like this: I am a rebellious and wild person who engages in destructive behaviours because I can't help myself. While my life may look great on the outside, really it's not that fulfilling. I'm not intellectually engaged and am mostly bored, irritable, and/or angry. This was a tidy story to tell myself and it enabled me to drink even though drinking made everything worse. I'd had 1.5 years of substance therapy in the States, but didn't realise it was my attitude that needed to change.

To be very clear and because you know I love a good framework, I hope if I'm more specific it'll help clarify exactly what the program has helped me to do, so here's a list:

● Identify my emotions

I've always struggled with emotions and feelings. I normally excuse this by saying things like ‘I'm not a touchy feely kind of person' to friends and family members. What I really should have said all these years is ‘I have no idea what emotions or feelings I even experience because emotions and feelings are unpleasant and a sign of weakness.'

The positive psychology, CBT, emotional intelligence, brain bites, and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; a mindfulness based therapy) classes helped me identify my emotions and give my analytical mind a rest. My emotions and feelings are necessary and knowing what these are help me understand my behaviour.

● Be grateful

I never would have called myself an ingrate, but I realise now that I have been one for most of my life. I have so so so much in my life to be grateful for, and it is only after completing the RDP that I have learned to appreciate it. I no longer see my life as unfulfilling or boring. Again, my life hasn't changed, but through positive psychology and the CBT classes, I have learned to be grateful and therefore, content with my life.

One of my favourite quotes of yours is ‘you can't be grateful and unhappy at the same time.'

● Make connections between my past and my behaviours

This was a very important part of the process for me, as I have always wanted answers so to speak. The transactional analysis, CBT, and ACT all helped me to think about why I have felt worried and dissatisfied for most of my life, and more importantly, to accept whatever ‘answers' I came upon. I also learned (and this is huge for me) that sometimes we don't get answers and that's ok.

● Be ‘comfortable with uncomfortable feelings'

This is pretty self-explanatory, and it didn't make a lot of sense to me the first time I heard it, but now I think it's my favourite skill. I know now that sitting with an uncomfortable feeling won't kill me and only makes me better at managing myself and my behaviour. As the Buddha said ‘feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.'

I could go on and on but these are just the main highlights for me and what I wanted to thank you for. It's ok to share this letter with your colleagues, if it is of interest.

I can't overstate how meaningful the RDP has been for me. I am grateful for you and the other facilitators' dedication, energy, and encouragement. We're not always an easy bunch to motivate, but I appreciate all of the time and effort you put into the course. It was exactly what I didn't know I needed :)

Many thanks,

Erica

Central and North West London NHS Foundation Trust
Stephenson House, 75 Hampstead Road, London NW1 2PL
Tel: 020 3214 5756 e-mail:communications.cnwl@nhs.net